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My FIRST Full-Length DestroyerMariko Show is ALMOST HERE!!!

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Key details

When: October 12th 2025 – doors 4:30pm, I’m on at 5pm!
Where: Crowbar Sydney, 343 Parramatta Rd, Leichhardt NSW
Tickets: https://tickets.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/f3b6cbef-b21f-4906-aed0-375c5433a67e

Time Space Continuum presents Astrodeath

In just three weeks from now I’ll finally be hitting the stage at Crowbar for my FIRST EVER full-length DestroyerMariko show! That’s right, we’ve graduated from open mics and surprising one-off’s, and jumped straight into the deep end! Not only is it going to be a great night of metal, it’s a HUGE night for me, as I’ll be doing a massive 45 minute set including ALL my songs – released and unreleased!! That’s right, I’ve got two brand new songs to debut. At the time of writing, the only place you can get a preview is behind my Patreon cult paywall.

But WAIT, there’s more…!?

Yup, not only has DestroyerMariko finally broken free of the open mic circuit, WE ARE LEVELLING UP!! This is too big of an opportunity for me not to go all out. Thanks to landing this gig, I’ve gotten myself back into singing lessons, invested in some hardcore wireless gear so I can go all out on stage, and I’ve even hired a photographer for the first time in my gigging life!? So I better look the part too, right? After having my Britney Spears shaved head moment post-Schizoid diagnosis, briefly dabbling in all black, and then returning to my natural brown, I’m FINALLY getting my hair done alt again and this time I’m sticking to DestroyerMariko colours, even more so than when I first started colouring my hair. And then (assuming OPSM finally pulls through), I’ve ordered some red prescription contacts, coz WHY NOT!? Legit I cannot wait to perform and show you how nuts I’ve gone!!

From there, I’m also just going to take my solo project more seriously in general, and it’s now officially my main music project. I’ll never be the perfectly polished and compliant musician that the promotional world wants me to be, eg. I refuse to join Spotify etc. But I’m genuinely looking at doing some proper photo shoots, and possibly even getting on the music video bandwagon for my next release that I’m planning for 2026. That’s right, there’s a new EP coming! And I’ve been in talks to get more gigs going next year too. DestroyerMariko is on the move! And not just in the music space. I’ve emerged from my long-term mental health slump into a fresh creative spurt, without needing to take meds, and having finally learned how to self-motivate my creativity too! It has taken so much work and so much struggle, but it feels good to finally make it this far. I am aware of my past habits and ongoing issues of course, so I’ll be keeping an eye out for the risk of burnout, but I have so much more insight nowadays and have learned a lot about how to work within my limits. So yeah, I feel confident enough that I can say THIS is my comeback!!

And I really have to thank Adam of Time Space Continuum SO MUCH for giving me a chance. It’s not easy to get out there as a soloist, especially if you decide not to bring on a live band. You’re on your own, you’re so much more exposed on stage, and even if you get past all that, the heavy scene just doesn’t expect much from you. I’ve been told in the past, by event organisers who were usually so accommodating to newcomers, that unless I had a second person on stage, I was “just doing karaoke” and they refused to have me. It was a really big blow for me at the time, knowing how false it was, not just because I’m doing original material, but because of the energy and choreography and completely sober nuttiness that I bring to every stage, no matter how small. I almost gave up on playing live. I do not fit in at open mics and never have. As fun as it is to mess with that audience, who were expecting chill singer songwriters on their acoustic guitars and keyboards, only to have me with my harsh electronic noise giving them whiplash between my sweet girly cleans and demonic death metal screams… as fun as it is to make those soft ears bleed, I’ve just always wanted to get back to my home in the heavy scene where I belong. To be able to finally do it now, and as my authentic creative self? I am so, SO appreciative!!

Also, to everyone who’s already bought tickets and told me you’re coming… THANK YOU SO MUCH!! It really is uplifting to know I still have an audience after so many years. Thank you so much for being patient with me and my mind. It’s not just that you’re coming that makes the difference either. Having Schizoid Personality Disorder has made it really hard for me to open up and feel certain emotions, but I can honestly say that you’re all making me legitimately feel supported, and I don’t even know how to explain what an important milestone that is for me! My disorder does its best to keep pushing people away, but I am hanging onto this as hard as I can. I may never end up functioning “normally” in this world, but if I can at least give depression the finger, that’s enough of a healing victory for me!!

More details:

If you’d like to know more about the bands I’ll be opening for, you can read more on Time Space Continuum’s page here: https://www.timespacepromo.com/event-astrodeath

Astrodeath are a two-piece sludge-grunge band from Sydney Australia, who sound like the world is ending. Loud, riff-heavy, and brutally tight!
Supported by: The Weight Of Silence, Noveaux, T-Rex Autopsy, and Magma One, plus special guest DestroyerMariko.

You can also RSVP to the Facebook event page here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1195593419004318/

I can’t wait to perform for you next month! See you there and don’t forget to come early, I’ll be on at 5pm!

“Fade” Release Day!!

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My new song “Fade” is finally out today! Listen to it on Bandcamp, along with the original demo I wrote with Henry Decrier! Check them both out, I love how different they are while both exploring and expressing the same pain and defiance in their own ways.

Fade T-shirts and other new merch are also now available in my store 😀

I really hope you like it, I think this is my favourite song I’ve released to date! I’ve written a bit about the meaning on the Bandcamp page, and my cult members have heard even more details, but in short, it’s about struggling to survive, however you need to at the time. The song is cathartic and motivational, but without being unrealistic.

As well as the meaning though, I’m also really happy with it from a musical perspective too! I love that it uses both extremes of my voice, the semi-classical high cleans vs the gnarly false cord screams, and does it with all the emotional catharsis that I love about singing. On top of that, it’s also the most dynamically complex song I’ve ever written, and I’m really pleased with how I met the challenge of having to rewrite it after the original black metal band didn’t go ahead. It turned out so much better than I thought I could ever do! Before I decided to tackle it myself, I’d actually given my vocals to two other musicians I was trying to collaborate with, but those versions never really hit the mark, and both projects collapsed before anything could come of it. It was actually a good thing though, because if they hadn’t let me down, Fade wouldn’t be what it has become today!

I’m also glad I was able to release it today. As I’ve mentioned before on my socials, today is the first anniversary of saying goodbye to my soul dog Hope. That was such a traumatic time for me. After so many medical issues throughout his life, I’d finally gotten him to the best health he’d ever had and things seemed fine, but he suddenly developed cluster seizures from a suspected brain tumour. Rather than subject him to scans and treatments that would likely be futile and stressful, I had to make the call to let him go, at home, surrounded by people he loved, and free from the anxiety of having to go to the vet. It was the ending I always wanted for him, but I still get emotional thinking about why I had to make that decision, and I’m not exaggerating when I say I almost followed him. But that’s why I needed to do something special today, both in his memory, and to give me something else to focus on. And I can’t think of a better song than one about managing to survive despite so much pain.

I released the song at 1:30pm, around the same time we said goodbye a year ago. 💔

I’ll be doing a livestream listening party on YouTube this evening (8pm Sydney time) where we can talk more about all the things! I can’t guarantee I won’t cry lol.

Thank you so much everyone for all your support, and also your patience! This song has been four years in the making, but after getting through some of the darkest points in my life to date, this is honestly the perfect time for its themes.

🖤❤️‍🩹🖤

In Memory of Hope Mochi Gray 11/5/12 – 23/11/23

Special thanks to Henry Decrier for allowing me to publish our original demo as a bonus track! Without you, this song would not exist.

Thanks also to: Kit Wing Fu who was there for me when I didn’t realise just how much I’d need it that day; my Wise Godmother and my brother Dave who’ve let me vent some seriously distressing stuff; Noctica, whose music, realness, and journey helped provide the spark I needed to get this done; Edmond Thommen forever supporting my wordsmithing; my psychologist now that I finally found the right one; my Cult of Destructionism on Patreon, especially Arn of the Apocalypse, Nervous Neuron, and Schizoid Angst; all my friends, family, and other supporters; and my puppy Triton AKA Orical Hope For Atlantis, who saved my life and got me back into the world again.